Broken Ambitions

So I always had the biggest drive to sing my heart out every chance I got but when I went to tryout for Honor Choir in elementry school I was told I should never sing again... Talk about a boner kill. I still try from time to time but I know that once again my brother recieved a blessing that remained absent to me...

What do you do when you have been told your whole life that you cant do something you would love to do for an eternity? Like last year I was kicked out of my News Publication class in highschool. Sure stuff like that happens all the time but I really wanted to write for the rest of my life. I even considered going to collage for it. That is why I stoped writting this silly blog that no one reads because I lost all heart...

So am I still waiting for this world to stop hating, cant find a good reason cant find hope to believe in. So true this world is just so full of hate. Even when someone can be perfectly happy someone is just waiting ot tear them down and tell them they arn't doing anything right.

I know this is really random and shows no merrit at all but that is not the point of my words... I just feel that I lost everything dear to me in such a little time and realized that maybe everyone that calles me "Worthless" is actually right. I can't really do much in this world to show any worth but then again isn't that our world? Survival of the fittest may be blunt and one sided but it is so true. Maybe not in the strength sense of the word but just that those who are mentally and well socially fit are just going to have an easier time...

So in relation to those people around me... I don't really have any problems with anyone as long as they leave me be or befriend me. I am some what of a socialtarian. Its all I live on. Id much rather be around people then without them but there are always going to be those times where I just want the roads to be coated in the blood of those who anger me. Don't get me wrong I am not a vengeful or homicidal person. I don't want to really hurt anyone at all but sometimes I feel like people don't understand what they do to others and how much pain they can really cause...

Because I cannot even remember what I started this post with I am just going to end it with some lyrics from a great song...

Everybody's got their problems (problems).
Everbody says the same thing to you.
It's just a matter of how you solve them (solve them),
And knowing how to change the things you've been through.
I feel I've come to realize
How fast life can be compromised.
Step back to see what's going on.
I can't believe this happened to you...
This happened to you...

With you....

So the other day I was hanging out with some of the best guys I have ever met and I had the facade of the strongest built up to live up to the reputation of a year past... Then a song came on and it rocked me to my very heart... If we broke up on good terms why do I miss you so much and always wish we were together and know that my life would be so much better with you but now your out of my life... I wish you were still here. Everything that I ever did with you was out of love and I meant every word and action... I remember every little thing that ever happened between us. My Sophmore year changed my life forever and so did you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8z-qP34-1Y