My name is Zachary. My title is Slave.
I am a slave to many things. My master is life. My mistress: mistreatment.
A few months ago I was doing work for The Boise Venue. I got the chance to work with a great band by the name of Sleeping Giant. This band opened my eyes to a whole new way to share with someone. I am very personal when it comes to my feelings about religion or belief, this is also how I feel everyone should be. While working for SG I noticed the way the front man spoke. It reminded me of the slow, sure draw that my best friend used ever second of his life. This band spoke to me much like he would. CAN YOU FEEL THE GLORY OF GOD? I don't know if I can. It has been so long since I have felt any emotion besides betrayal and anguish. That is so far from true.
you try to silence my voice but I am still screaming out. YOU BETTER PRAY. Over the last few months I have started smoking weed. Tis is something that I had only expiriemted in the past with so I could have a valid stance on the subject. However, after some time and a lot of stress over weather or not I would have a place to sleep day to day I decided to indulge more. This has cost me a few things. 1. The complete trust of my beloved EMILY. 2. The loss of more than one friendship. 3. My friends don't find me reliable.
But now I have to say something. This is just to get it off my chest. I try very hard not to censor my speech here because I feel like if I say it here you HAVE to look for it. (NSA go fuck yourself.) But over the past 3 years I have noticed a explicit change in one of my friends. Lets give some background. 3 years ago around this time is when I was diving headfirst into music and working with it. I gathered some talented musicians and created the band The Day After. I feel I deserve to brag about this because I am truly the only person in that band that gave a shit. I wrote every lyric practiced everyday scheduled and paid for everything my self. I never made a fucking cent.
While in this band a guitarist decided to leave. During the same week a member decided to have an acoustic show at a friends house. We needed a guitarist and I invited the host to play with us. I have to say that I have never felt more confident than when this person told my that he could tell I worked my ass off to get my vocals to the point that they reached. But that was old BRANDON. Now I am sick. I am straight fucking sick of him. It has been three years. I have never met someone so fucking self centered or self absorbed. He has done things that will make him never to be trusted again. I will never go out of my way to help him or make him happy again. He wants to be on his own then he can. He is the lowest piece of shit I have ever met. He has taken ever aspect of my friendship for granted. Its like I have known him for a week. 3 fucking years. A year ago I would have told you he was my best friend. Now I tell you my heart aches that I have given so much up to him only to be mistreated and pushed aside. He gets mad that I talk shit? I get made that there is shit to talk.
Anyway, I have become absolutely upset with where I am in life. I have no true friends and it burns me to the very core that I do not talk to anyone that I have known more than a few years. Did I miss the seminar in highschool? I thought you got friends by being nice to people and treating them nicely? Turns out if you smoke weed you are cool, if you treat women like shit you are cool, if you don't give a fuck about anything around you? Yeah that makes you cool too.
I tell you this world, I swear to change for the better. This is the day. This is my last negative post. I AM NOT ALONE. Even though it does feel like that quite often I know it is not true. Roughly five months ago I met the very love of my life. OH SHIT. ANOTHER ONE RIGHT? Nah. Internet world I tell you now that this girl is defiantly the one I will be with for the rest of my life. She will always be my numero uno priority. I have never felt a need to make someone happy or safe in my life. She is mine and I am hers. I will never do anything to betray the trust she has given me. I love her more than the air in my lungs. She starts her Senior year in about 4 hours and her first day on the job. I am so very proud of my Emily. SO FUCKING PROUD. When I met her we were both fucking messes. I was drunk the first 2 weeks of hanging out with her and she was popping pills. Since then I have gained a job that I hate but I have stopped getting fucked up every second of every day. She stopped popping and I never even had to tell her to. She has forever changed me and I couldn't be happier. I want her to have the best life possible. I will do everything in my power to make that happen. I love you Emily Steele. I really truly do. You are my best friend and I intend to hold you in these arms forever.
